My 2nd It
This page was sitting here for about a year. This page was blank, but the memories were still there. A lot has changed over the past year, but the emptiness is still there. A lot of "what ifs" and reminders of what "could've been". I miss the joy when we shared the news and their embrace that could've been. I miss my baby even though it was too early to even call It a baby. A fetus is what the doctors would call It, not a baby. A baby is what the anti-abortion or pro-life activists would call It. I'm actually pro-choice, but a fetus is what I won't call It. I'm still grieving over a life that never happened. I can't disconnect from the strong heartbeat that I witnessed at 8 weeks like It never happened. I can't forget the feeling of emptiness when It exited my body and all the blood stained my memory. I hate that I feel it was my fault, but I try to bury It in my memory. I hate calling it "It" but I never got to fin